Cuppa Tee

Decluttering your student house- Three Years of House Horrors  Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash I ’ve had my fair share of student house horror stories at Warwick. As a final year student, I’ve been looking back at all of the nightmarish experiences I’ve had, and I thank my lucky stars that I can go home and (hopefully) will never have to deal with the likes of them again. Let’s start at the beginning with the organisational disaster that was my room in first year. To get to my bed, I had to climb over an overwhelming heap of stuff. You couldn’t see the carpet because it was piled up to my knees with stacks of things. My housemates decided to help organise my room because it was in such a disarrayed state. It took eleven hours before I could see carpet. Eleven  long  hours. My second year was similarly eventful. A particular horror story that stands out is a time when I left my Weetos box in my room and went home for the weekend. When I came back, there w...

The Piccadilly Zoo The Piccadilly Zoo, The Piccadilly Zoo, All the monkeys there go moo, The dogs wink, The cats sing. All the children stand on their tootsies, Ignoring all the teachers looksies, The elephants ROAR, And all the children scream for MORE! The Piccadilly Zoo, The Piccadilly Zoo, That’s the place for me and you. So shimmy and run, The train leaves at one, So be quick,  And don’t take the mick  Because the Piccadilly Zoo has the most extraordinary exhibit, The one that attracts all the nibbets, It really is a rare view, The special edition of a clean loo.

I wish I was These clumps of fat which wobble and flap, These shoes that kill, I walk, I can’t feel, These curves that outline and try to define             The way that I feel when I look in the glass The glass that distorts, that lies.  Tells me I’m beautiful then casts me aside. I’m always too short, or too tall or too fat. The reflection that laughs but never smiles back. You wear a long skirt and you look like a nan, Wear trousers and you look like a man. Your hair stands on end so you look like a tree, You cry so often, you’re salty as the sea. Your nose is too big, your hips are too wide, If a man tells you what to do you should always abide. You’re free to fly but you’re trapped in a cage, You’re the protagonist of your story but there’s only one page. I sit back and peel open my eyes, There are blurring colours and the world flashes by.  Being born a new, Once a child, now a woman, Once ...

Whisper to the sunlight (Free writing poem set to 2/3 minutes).   Swimming elegantly across the pool Splashing and crashing in the waves Pulling and reaching out in front of you The sky as clear as day. Suddenly the darkness creeps in and you can barely breathe. Something is underneath you… And it’s crawling under your feet. You splash and cry out frantically Until you can cry no more. You feel yourself drowning and pulling you to the floor. You whisper to the sunlight as it comes to pass And look at the sun beams reflecting as you take your last long gasp. The waterfall of terror (Task: Write down one noun (type of body of water) and one emotion. Name the poem after the combination of the two and write. Prose poem). Crawling over the edge, gazing at the extraordinary view. One may be fooled by the beauty and innocence it holds. I slip and slide down the cliff face, scratching at the surface with rage. I hit and smothe...

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A Night You Won’t Forget: 'Wolf of Wall Street' Bringing Bold and Scandalous Behaviour to London The Wolf of Wall Street, a black comedy crime film based on the outrageous memoir of Jordan Belfort, is coming to London as a new immersive theatre experience. Belfort, a wealthy stockbroker living the high life of drugs, crime and corruption inevitably suffers at the hands of his own lifestyle, leading to his downfall. The film which was released in U.S December 2013, stars Hollywood actors such as Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie and Matthew McConaughey and was directed by Martin Scorsese. Grossing at $392 million, it became Scorsese's highest-grossing film and is now being adapted across four floors in central London. Audience members will become either a Wall street trader at Belfort’s Stratton Oakmont firm or an FBI agent working to uncover their illegal activities. With a dress code of 90’s American office attire, the audience will explore ...